Wednesday, November 4, 2015

ladies, what to expect after you get married. and how to deal with it.

Assalamualaikum and hi :)

Marriage is something that almost every woman excited for. tipulah kan kalau tak excited. when you met the one, and he ask for a hand of marriage..perasaan tu rasa macam nak berguling je :') been there done that. tapi ada juga a case yang family aturkan and she doesn't even know the guy. jumpa pun sekali je waktu kecik. tapi balik2 pada Dia, just be positive and keep on praying that everything's going to be great. balik semula pada my friend tu, she's now happily married with the guy. best dia kata sebab macam baru kenal orang baru tapi duduk serumah tapi halal. complicated betul bunyi wuwu, but as long as she's happy.. it means we can be happy too.. kita pilih jalan, Allah permudahkan :)

Ok now the zerious part. tak serious manalah tapi, still. serious. untuk mengelakkan sy tulis panjang2 yang merapu i decided to write it in point form : 

1. Marriage is not all about rainbow, marshmallow and unicorn.

- Ok lah, awal2 kawin memang semuanya.. alahaiii. kalau boleh nak bagitau semua orang best sangat2 kawin ni kenapa tak kawin dari lepas baligh (macam kenal ayat ni lolz). it is, because your partner is also excited and how haraam from halaal can be such a great adventure. bila start kerja after honeymoon mula sedih sebab sorang kerja tempat lain, sorang tempat lain. then update instagram/ facebook/twitter how sad or lonely you are.. hmm. it's okay. bagi can lah kan. everyone most probably macam tu bila awal2 kawin. but what happened after a year?

After a year, dia takkan jadi macam awal2 kawin. the sweetness is there. but it will disseminate in other form. kiranya, mungkin tak adalah panggilan mucuk/anje setiap hari depan orang. mungkin panggil sayang/you/baby. and it will be more on responsibility rather than sweet takde maksud. means, bila kite balik kerja lambat skit.. husband akan call tanya dekat mana. atau kita masak on weekend, husband makan sampai menambah2. dia yang habiskan lauk dan nasi semua. mungkin kita tak nampak.. tapi tu adalah cara lelaki trying to be sweet to us. so be grateful okay? don't compare your marriage life with others that you see in social media. somehow some people want you to portray them like that, but in reality.. we never know. or also, i always believe everyone have their strength and weakness. sama macam dalam perkahwinan. adalah kekurangan sana sini. tapi dah check belum kelebihan kita dan partner kita? :) 

2. He needs his own time too.

- Guys will always be guys. and his friends might be once, his everything. so don't argue with them about that. kalau dia cakap nak keluar dengan kawan2 dia. just let him be. once and twice a week wouldn't harm. as long as dia still tak neglect tanggungjawab dia sebagai suami.. siapalah kita nak ceramah bagai.. ye dak? 

And guys will loveee you more if you understand him in this situation. lagi2 kalau yang minat bola. once in a blue moon tak salah kalau suami ajak his friends to come over for football match. you boleh tlg order kan pizza or kalau nak jadi isteri solehah with extra sayang from suami, cook simple dish for them. alah, mee goreng je. takpun goreng nugget. remember, cook with love :)

3. Your in Laws is your new family.

- Macam-macam mana pun, you have to accept this. suami akan excited kalau it is his turn untuk balik rumah parent dia. so we can choose, nak sedih sebab tak balik rumah kita atau nak join the fun with le husband? join the fun girl! bayangkan semua benda yang best2 dekat rumah in laws. boleh belajar masak, boleh korek rahsia husband masa dia kecik2, make sure ada bonding time with the in laws. tak perlu ikut husband sangat masa di rumah.. cuba sesuaikan diri. he loves that :)

4. What if he got mad?

- Langit tak selalunya cerah. macm tu jugaklah perkahwinan ni. kadang2 bukan sebab kita pun dia jadi bad mood. mungkin sebab kerja, financial, responsibility.. just so you know, lelaki ni banyak benda2 besar yang dia fikirkan jadi bila dah kawin memang berat tanggungjawab dia. so kalau kita dah dapat cam yang dia tengah bad mood.. what you can do :

                         I - offers him a massage. shoulder and head massage is a great way to release stress.        tak perlu banyak cakap dengan dia. senyap pun tak apa. 
          II - cook for him his favourite food. or kalau tak ada bahan, anything special. 
III- be his bestfriend. kalau dia macam nak bercerita, biarkan dia cerita semua. 
kita hanya mendengar. don't interrupt while he's talking. bila dia
tanya opinion baru bagi our opinion. if he still looks worried, hug him.
and tell him that everything's going to be fine. guys need motivation
from the one he loves.

Tapi kalau dia marah sebab salah kita? cepat2 minta maaf. kalau dia still marah, biarkan. lama2 sejuk la tu. hehe. but yang penting, kena minta maaf sehabis baik.

5. Give and take

- Bila dah kawin, kena banyak sangat bersabar. kadang2 sebab perkara kecil je.. tapi sebab nature perempuan suka berleter, suami boleh mengamuk kalah hulk. scaryyy. sebab tu lah dalam perkahwinan ni kena ada give and take. i always ask older people on what to advise for marriage life. most of them said, banyakkan bersabar. give and take. 

Sabar tu adalah benda yang palinggg penting and yet, in some situation paling susah nak buat. lagi2 untuk pasangan muda yang baru berkahwin. Love your husband like how you love your parent. macam2 mana pun you gaduh, cepat2 minta maaf. cepat2 hug suami. cepat2 cakap sayang suami. kadang2 ada jugalah salah suami, tapi sebab dia tengah bad mood takkan kita nak cakap, 'heyy salah uuu. i tengah tgk spongebob tiba2 u datang marah i sebab i tak buat pape'. NO, jangan please. kalau dia tgh marah jangan ambil hati. sambil2 dia tgh marah, fikir list barang dapur yang dah habis ke, mlm ni nak masak apa, esok nak lunch kat mana, nak pakai baju apa pegi kerja esok, etc. bila dia dah habis marah.. minta maaf dengan dia. hug dia cakap sorry. nanti bila dia dah sejuk dia pun segan agaknya sebab marah kita tak pasal2. hehe.

ok lah, setakat ni boleh fikir 5 main points ni je. korang rasa apa lagi yang perlu ada dalam list ni? share jom ;) for those yang dah nak kawin, congrats and good luck! marriage life is great. your life will never be the same. terima partner kita dikala baik dan buruk. sebab dia dah cukup matang untuk berkahwin dan terima baik buruk kita juga :)

okbai tetiba throwback :')



15 comments:

  1. tq for all these fatin. rasa macam kena tingkatkan lagi bab sabar dengan my husband. tq :)

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  2. Good one kak fatin

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  3. Thank you kak fatin share this story. Boleh jadikan rujukan untuk bakal2 pengantin jugak ni. Hihihi

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  4. Dkt nk kawin rs sensitif bila ada yg tkena sometime blh tkuar ayat xnk kawin laa

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  5. cantiknya cara pakai shawl tu. Nak try la lepas ni

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  6. Wahhh. Thankyousomuch sis fatin. Really useful :)

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  7. tulah kahwin ni mmg kena jaga hati orang but hati kita kena jg sendiri

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