Tuesday, February 28, 2012

enlighten by people around me.

Assalamualaikum.

For those who already known me since ages, by right they should know that i can be very hot-tempered person. But that is like, once a year. Some of my friends asked me how i control my patience of not being mad at other people. Well firstly, you’re wrong. I’ve always get angry with some random people with random things that they do. Even if it doesn’t relate to me. Yeap, it’s bad. But i’m sure most of us did the same, kan? Ehe ;p but i don’t usually show how i felt about those people to public. For instance : saying rude words, menjerit sekuat hati dlm kete, perli depan2, etc.

Previously, what i did is take a deep breath and say, Astarafirullah.. sabar fatin. I’m gonna get through this. *tarik nafas lagi. But i’m just a normal person, so sometimes i can’t handle things that people do. So i made my decision by making my own ‘mencarut’ words. Ok it seems harsh, but for those who knows me very well, they know that it’s hard for me to use bad words. Even the word B*d*h. Instead of using inappropriate words, i use words that doesn’t relate to any things at all. For instance, “arghh.. this is so bawal!”, “ why laaa.. things just get even worse. I’m sooo butterfly.” See.. takde kene mengene langsung. But as for me, it works! Rasa mcm dah lepas semua. *even my lil sis gelak bile dgr kakaknye ‘mencarut’. Heh.

But by doing all those things, i found that i still have that ‘hurt’ inside. You know.. you kept thinking about the people and things they did, and because you still can’t forget, you tend to share the stories with your friends. N it became gossip. Which yeah, adalah tokok tambahnya.

Praise to Allah, i found ways to cope with this small stuff situations. It’s is so simple. Simply change the attitude of “why are they doing this?" to “what are they trying to teach me?. I admit, it sounds simple but to always remember and discipline ourselves to follow the new attitude is not that simple and easy. So what i did, i made this as my desktop background :


It’s a reminder for myself. My job is to try to determine what the people in my life are trying to teach me. Imagine that all the people that i meet is there to teach me something. For instance, last 2 days i went to post office and the postal clerk was moving slowly, intentionally. I was in a rush because i need to be in the office at 2pm. The old me will just sit there, waiting the postal clerk to finish her work wrapping my parcels and asked myself to be patience. But i know, at the end of the day i’m the one who will get hurt, n went to office in a bad mood. Tssk. So i asked myself, what are they trying to teach me? Maybe i need to learn about compassion. How hard it could be having a job that you don’t love and doing the same thing all day long, everyday. *sigh. So what i did, i try to smile and have a chat with her. We talked about my online shop (since she was reading the details on my parcels), things that i sell and some tudungs that is in trend right now. She smiled and had a small laughed during our conversation. And she did her work even quicker than before! I’m very happy and i guess so do her. Mission accomplished ;p

And yesterday, i went to megamall during lunch break to settle some things. I was very thankful to have a parking near the entrance. Since it is a side parking, i drove the car a bit further so that i can make S parking. N i gave the signal lah kan, nak cop tempat tu. So masa tgh drive ke depan skit, there’s one car terus masuk my future parking (mcm future ape je. Uhuks). So i thought maybe she didn’t see me (which is obvious she could see) , so sy pandang ke belakang n said using signal language that it’s my parking. She smiled and nodded smbil bg signal sorry. kinda relieved, i wait for her to move the car. But instead of moving the car, she parked the car nicely and take her handbag n quickly went into megamall. Really shocked for what happened, i quickly took a deep breath n beristighfar. Tak cukup sekali, 2-3 kali tarik nafas dalam2. Then i asked myself, what does the old Chinese lady trying to teach me? I just can’t think of any positive things at that moment, so i let myself to ease by finding other parking n settled the things that i wanna settle first. As i walked out from the entrance, i saw the car at the parking. Tetapi penuh dgn tahi burung, byk yg amat sgt nye. Frankly, i smiled. He saved me. Sy baru cuci kereta so kalau sy kat parking tu, kereta sy akan kotor balik. So what the old lady trying to teach me is that, to be tolerate. I might lose the chance, but He always has a reason for not giving the chance to me as He’s giving the best for every people. Allah’s knows best. :D

take care people :)

25 comments:

  1. sabar kak fatin. Allah love you :')

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  2. Yeah, He knows the best thing for us. But forgiving is not that easy, huh? I like the way you control your feeling and perhaps I'll do the same way after this.^^

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  3. wahhh, a great post btw. may Allah ease ur day sis. thakns for sharing this 'method' :)

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  4. tu laa... pmpuan cina tu nak sangat brebut paking..

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  5. wowww,love this entry.mmg sgt useful untk rin.since rin kurg penyabar orgnye +__+

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  6. wahhh.. kinda motivate me while reading ur post just now. it's hard for me to control my feeling as i'm hot-tempered person. but after read the way u control urself, i think i'm gonna use the same way as yours... thanks sis. may Allah bless u... :)

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  7. :) everything happen for a reason? this entry cheer me up.haha.thnx!

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  8. another way to put up with myhottempered habit :)
    thenx sis ♥

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  9. thanks for the nice writing. i felt angry this morning and after i read this i get this. patience is the key :)

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  10. thanks kak fatin..tak sia-sia anis baca dari awal sampai akhir..pagi2 dah dapat motivasi..hava a nice day :)

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  11. nice entry...good message for everyone..same gos to me..sometime we didnt even realise what is the best thing could happen to us,unless we'd seen the impact,then we can say.."oooo..now i know.." sort of..

    *thanks to mr.syfiq, introduce ur blog to me.

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  12. owh my.. i believe that that old chinese lady thought that u just moved out from that parking space n salah interpret your signal language... instead of "its my parking", dia interpret " silalah masuk, i nak balik dah"...

    hehehehe... memang kan... kadang kadang bila benda macm tu jadi, istighfar sambil urut dada je lah...

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  13. thanx dear for sharing..it's a good way..very motivating..

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  14. Replies
    1. suka sgt akak baca entri ni :).. i read every single word..that's why i love reading ur blog (silent reader jeee heee)


      LIKE 1000x tp takda button like la pulok


      setiap kejadian yg menimpa ada hikmahnya..especially yg bab parking tu

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  15. kelakar cara sis 'mencarut' :D about the old lady and the clerk it was so weird tp memang ada hikmah. :)

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  16. salam,

    semua yang berlaku ada hikmahnya.. bagi wanita hot-tempered, ubatnya satu je, nikah cepat! ada karomah selepas nikah yang membuatkan banyak wanita jadi lebih penyabar selepas nikah.. hehhee

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  17. Hi..kadang2 melepaskan marah itu juga penting..jgn di pendam sgt..rosak otak dan badan..maksud saya marah bertempat..
    Tu je nk ckp..awak lawa n im a guy here.

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  18. hikmah tuhan harus dilihat secara sepenhnya, bukan sekerat sekerat ye tak

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  19. apa yang patut adalah bersabar...
    Bukan cik sorang je laluinye
    Ada yang lebih teruk...
    Pendek kata sooo faarrr
    semua orang lalui lautan bergelora

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  20. hye fatin. i've always read ur blog and it kinda being my habit to open up ur blog and to read any new post from u. like many other posts u've been posted, this one really create something in my heart. i smiled for i can't imagine how'd u face any problems that come to u patiently. as i kinda a hot-temper person too. but as it easy for me to get angry, it easy also for me to cool down.

    but here, i wanna request something from u. just so u know, i'm an IB student from uitm also, just like u. hee. ok recently, i've followed ur advice here for not to get mad but instead try to look at the better side of the problem itself. when i get mad over something, i just keep quiet and try to calm by myself. sometimes it works for me, but the other time i felt that people might think easy on me to play fool of me again.

    as usual, IB students are required to go for a trip on part 5. i'm in part 3 now and my class have started to gain a fund by having some events, and whatnot. through this, we've created our own class organization. but the problem here is when people got a higher position even just a class organization, they tend to be so positional-person. u know what i mean, they became controlling and don't even care of what other's opinion. coz as for me, i've always bear in mind that position is equal to responsibilities. but i don't know if they think position is some kind of material things they can trade to other things. have u ever encountered that situation or people like that?

    i really wanna some piece of advice from u. coz sometimes i do feel down, i'm demotivated, but somehow they're my friends. i just don't know how to actually explain to them their action can't be acceptable by others. there have been other people that came to see me and expressed their feelings of how they don't like my friend who's in charge for those events.

    so here, i hope u could advice me on how to deal with people like that, how to deal with people who don't seems like us. thanks. :)

    -aryssa-

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    1. Salam and hi Aryssa,

      I'm not that good in giving opinion but i'll try to give some advices based on what i've experienced. Mm, i know it is difficult to be in the middle since the one who controls and not doing the job properly is ur friend, n the rest is ur friends too. For me, u only have two options. Either u want it to be better, or just let it be. If u want to make things better, u yourself are the one should make these two party, get together again. It is not ur job, but tanggungjawab ( for me lah.). First, try to have small talk with ur friends yg buat keje trip tu. Try to ask such ques : yg tempat kite nak g harituh sume dah setuju ke eh?, harga yg kau cakap harituh agak2 sume org mampu tak? Ye la.. Akuh taknak la ade yg tak pegi sbb kewangan.. Kalau blh kita bantu2.. Or if they didn't do the job, "kau dah jumpe advisor kite utk trip ni ke?, akuh dgr susah jugak trip IB nih nak diluluskan.. Lagi2 kalau buat last minute (which is trueeee), agak2 kau rase blh buat tak? If not kita bincang same2 dlm kelas nanti, etc..

      But i know.. Sometimes nak ckp mcm tu pun agak susah sbb kite takut kawan terasa. So second, u can try to do some homework about tempat2 yg nak pegi, cari pakej yg murah, flight bila, etc. But make sure u buat ni sume dgn ur classmates. Once all of them setuju, then u bg dekat ur friend yg handle the job. If he/she mcm nak taknak, terangkan kat dea yg keputusan ni adalah persetujuan org satu kelas. U can't beat the majority. Kalau dea still nak ikut kepala dea, mengadu pd advisor yg akan ikut korang pegi trip tu nanti. It's because, tanggungjawab sbenar adalah pada lecturer pengiring tu. Bukan classmate kite. Sbenarnya dea takde hak utk aturkan dan mintak kita semua ikut. Kalau dea ckp tu tanggungjawab dea, just so he/she know, once kita dah kat overseas tu, tanggungjawab sepenuhnya kat lecturer. Dea takde ape2 dah pun. So itu pun dah cukup menerangkan segalanya,

      As a conclusion, try to make every single thing, in team. Disseminate all the task. Biar semua org ade tugas masing2. Even kecil pun, at least masing2 akan rase mereka semua contribute to the trip. So takkan ada yg akan naik kepala nak handle the task but in the end, tak buat keje. This is not a small task u know.. Try buat biro2. Example : pengangkutan ( handle flight tiket, bas kat sana, overal cost utk trabsportation), makanan ( provide lunch, dinner, contact tmpat mkn yg halal kat sana awal2), disiplin ( make sure everyone on time, tetapkan setiap tempat yg dilawat berapa jam, etc), biro protokol ( if ada mlawat kilang or uni, buat surat utk minta kebenaran melawat, contact them if u have to, )' cenderahati ( bg token pd company or uni yg kita lawat), kebersihan, etc.. So u see.. There are soo many biro tha u can create based on what u guys need in order to make the trip run smoothly. Let them know, tanggungjawab yg diberi tu bukan utk glamour. Tp utk memudahkan org lain. :)

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  21. thanks alot fatin. u really gave me such a clear picture of what am i going to do. now, i see my own perspective within me. it's not about who created the problem but who's going to solve it down.

    and i really like ur idea of those bureau coz we already have those bureau u said but we don't really assigned them with a proper tasks. so, i would try to suggest this to my class and hope they would accept it.

    again, thanks a bunch! i really appreciate it. wish u a very good days ahead. all the best on ur blogshop n congratz! love u!! <3

    -aryssa-

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