enlighten by people around me.
For those who already known me since ages, by right they should know that i can be very hot-tempered person. But that is like, once a year. Some of my friends asked me how i control my patience of not being mad at other people. Well firstly, you’re wrong. I’ve always get angry with some random people with random things that they do. Even if it doesn’t relate to me. Yeap, it’s bad. But i’m sure most of us did the same, kan? Ehe ;p but i don’t usually show how i felt about those people to public. For instance : saying rude words, menjerit sekuat hati dlm kete, perli depan2, etc.
Previously, what i did is take a deep breath and say, Astarafirullah.. sabar fatin. I’m gonna get through this. *tarik nafas lagi. But i’m just a normal person, so sometimes i can’t handle things that people do. So i made my decision by making my own ‘mencarut’ words. Ok it seems harsh, but for those who knows me very well, they know that it’s hard for me to use bad words. Even the word B*d*h. Instead of using inappropriate words, i use words that doesn’t relate to any things at all. For instance, “arghh.. this is so bawal!”, “ why laaa.. things just get even worse. I’m sooo butterfly.” See.. takde kene mengene langsung. But as for me, it works! Rasa mcm dah lepas semua. *even my lil sis gelak bile dgr kakaknye ‘mencarut’. Heh.
But by doing all those things, i found that i still have that ‘hurt’ inside. You know.. you kept thinking about the people and things they did, and because you still can’t forget, you tend to share the stories with your friends. N it became gossip. Which yeah, adalah tokok tambahnya.
Praise to Allah, i found ways to cope with this small stuff situations. It’s is so simple. Simply change the attitude of “why are they doing this?" to “what are they trying to teach me?. I admit, it sounds simple but to always remember and discipline ourselves to follow the new attitude is not that simple and easy. So what i did, i made this as my desktop background :
It’s a reminder for myself. My job is to try to determine what the people in my life are trying to teach me. Imagine that all the people that i meet is there to teach me something. For instance, last 2 days i went to post office and the postal clerk was moving slowly, intentionally. I was in a rush because i need to be in the office at 2pm. The old me will just sit there, waiting the postal clerk to finish her work wrapping my parcels and asked myself to be patience. But i know, at the end of the day i’m the one who will get hurt, n went to office in a bad mood. Tssk. So i asked myself, what are they trying to teach me? Maybe i need to learn about compassion. How hard it could be having a job that you don’t love and doing the same thing all day long, everyday. *sigh. So what i did, i try to smile and have a chat with her. We talked about my online shop (since she was reading the details on my parcels), things that i sell and some tudungs that is in trend right now. She smiled and had a small laughed during our conversation. And she did her work even quicker than before! I’m very happy and i guess so do her. Mission accomplished ;p
And yesterday, i went to megamall during lunch break to settle some things. I was very thankful to have a parking near the entrance. Since it is a side parking, i drove the car a bit further so that i can make S parking. N i gave the signal lah kan, nak cop tempat tu. So masa tgh drive ke depan skit, there’s one car terus masuk my future parking (mcm future ape je. Uhuks). So i thought maybe she didn’t see me (which is obvious she could see) , so sy pandang ke belakang n said using signal language that it’s my parking. She smiled and nodded smbil bg signal sorry. kinda relieved, i wait for her to move the car. But instead of moving the car, she parked the car nicely and take her handbag n quickly went into megamall. Really shocked for what happened, i quickly took a deep breath n beristighfar. Tak cukup sekali, 2-3 kali tarik nafas dalam2. Then i asked myself, what does the old Chinese lady trying to teach me? I just can’t think of any positive things at that moment, so i let myself to ease by finding other parking n settled the things that i wanna settle first. As i walked out from the entrance, i saw the car at the parking. Tetapi penuh dgn tahi burung, byk yg amat sgt nye. Frankly, i smiled. He saved me. Sy baru cuci kereta so kalau sy kat parking tu, kereta sy akan kotor balik. So what the old lady trying to teach me is that, to be tolerate. I might lose the chance, but He always has a reason for not giving the chance to me as He’s giving the best for every people. Allah’s knows best. :D