Monday, October 7, 2013

slander, backbite and how to forgive.

Assalamualaikum and hi.

I don't know where to start. A lot of things happened recently, both the good one and the bad one. Alhamdulillah for good things that happened and will happened (Insha-Allah) which gives me strength to look up upon my life :)

There are things that i want to share but i don't think it is appropriate to share it here. but let me just give a hint about it. slander (fitnah) and something similar to slander, which is backbite (mengumpat). both are not my favourite topics to talk about. i am not happy to see something which is not even from me is being manipulated and slandered saying it is me/ from me.

Of course some people will say, 'that's the price of being known by many people'. but again and again, as i've already post a similar post like this.. who are we to judge other people? how can we learn to mend our scars and continue being good to people, even when they are not good to us?

"Those who show no mercy to others will have no mercy shown to them by Allah" [Muslim]

Forgiveness. who are we compared to Allah. if we are keen to seek for Allah forgiveness, how can we not forgive others?

Astarafirullah.

to all readers, let us forgive each other and stop backbiting each other. 

"Major Sins are indeed the cause for all misery, evil and torment in this world and the hereafter."

and among the destructive major sins are backbiting and slandering. they can decrease in good deeds and increase in evil ones and lead to dishonor and ignominy. how bad is that :(

Allah forbids these acts, He says in Qur'an :

"backbiting and gossiping are from the most vilest and despicable of things, yet the most widely spread among mankind, such that no one is free from it except for a few people."

Backbiting (gheebah) means mentioning something about a person (in his absence), that he hates, whether it is about his body, religious, characteristics, his worldly affairs, his self, his physical appearance, his wealth, his family.. etc.

It could also means gheebah when you make fun of how someone looks, mentioning any bad quality in him. such as, "pendeknya lah dia ni", "kurusnya dia.. macam papan". also in religious qualities, "dia tu banyak dosa tu", " orang tu dahlah tak bayar zakat, sembahyang pun tak.."

Sejujurnya, tak perlulah kita fitnah orang lain demi kepuasan sendiri. atau mengutuk/ mengumpat orang lain kerana kebiasaan kita begitu. seeking flaws in every people you see.

Abu Hurayrah (May Allah be pleased with him) narrated that Prophet Mohammad (PBUH) said:

"Do you know what backbiting is?” They said, “Allah and His Messenger know best.” He then said, “It is to say something about your brother that he would dislike.” Someone asked him, “But what if what I say is true?” The Messenger of Allah said, “If what you say about him is true, you are backbiting him, but if it is not true then you have slandered him."

I really want to tell that someone that i don't really like something about her. then what can i do?

There are a lot of things that we can do apart from kutuk-mengutuk/ fitnah/ perli depan/ anonymous harsh words comments/ harsh e-mails.. etc. have you ever heard about giving advise? if you don't, then this is the right way to tell someone about things you don't like about him/her. there a lot of ways on giving advise. some people love to do it in formal way, some may not. you can just hangout and after lunch, you have some small talks about life.. and that's the moment when you talk and express how you love him/her as a friend and didn't want them to take the wrong path, for example.

I still remember when i was still freehair,my schoolmate saw me at town. i was in my high school and took arabic language, so you know how the environment may see me. sigh. but what i love about my dear friends is that, a day after they saw me at town, they gather around and have a talk about sins. the way they talked were very polite and i know.. Allah loves me that He gave a bunch of good friends that i should follow. they did not use any harsh words, they even smiled and give a lot of motivation to makes me feel they're with me. and yes, after that i started to wear my hijab permanently :) so you see, giving advise is never an old school way. 

but i already give advise. n he didn't took my advise. so that's why i just give him harsh words.biar dia rasa.

to me, a lot of good advise will never harm anyone. and by giving harsh words, do u think the person will take your advise? take the good way to educate and advise people, and pray that the person will change. semoga Allah bukakan hati mereka. if you still don't believe this, it seems that you don't believe that Allah is the ONLY one who opens someones hearts. it will never be you. it will never be me. we are only the channel to it, but forever, it is in Allah's will.

taken from someone's tumblr :

A sister wearing hijab might struggle with her salaah on time. a sister who never misses a salaah and prays fardh, sunnah and nafil might have trouble wearing hijab in public. a sister who wears a lot of makeup might have memorized juz amma. and a sister who wear niqab might be struggling to learn to read Qur'an with tajweed.

Truth is, we are all struggling with something or another, nobody is perfect yet people seem to think a person who dresses a certain way or look a certain way is more pious.

till then, take care people :)

7 comments:

  1. moga kita dirahmati allah...salam blogging,

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  2. this is the best ever advice written. Love this very much and In Shaa Allah, this will be read by others and all the goods will come back to you, Thank you. :)

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  3. Thanks for sharing Fatin. Terasa insaf. We want Allah swt to forgive us but we are too proud to forgive other people. And about mengumpat & menabur fitnah, kadangkala kita tak sengaja. Maybe sebab geram sangat maka terlepas cakap. Anyway, appreciate your post. I definitely will be more careful in my words to others after this.

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  4. I love this entry , atin. How truthful.

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  5. sometime fatin,kita xboleh nak memuaskan hati org lain..but u try ur best kan..ignore jer ap yg org cakap kat kite..biar org tu dpt dosa,kite yg dpt pahala...asalkan kite dah pun memaafkan org tu..:p

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