As I am looking for the right words to describe what I feel right now, I am very sure that fairy tales don’t exist. My theory is that once you’re reached the so-called fairy tale moment, you must prepare yourself to eventually face the truths behind all those things, which are not as good as other people may see it. I know that fairy tales don’t exist in reality, but I tend to create one myself. Or maybe two. Well, maybe three? Those who understands this means that they have passed the moment and came to realize the reality. For those who has not, take this as another step in your life that you must face to make yourself more matured in manoeuvring daily life.
Take love for an example. When we were young, most of us tend to see love as having fun together: watch movies, hang out, go out for picnics, romantic dinner, but as time goes by, the way you see love will be slightly different. There will be some serious elements in the future that you need to consider, such as exchanging problems, meeting the family, buying a house, buying a car, considering whether the current work will be a burden to the marriage, and of course, being more serious about the relationship. True, these things are not easy, but insisting that it is difficult is another way of saying in your mind that ‘I am not ready!’ or ‘I am just scared to face the reality!’ Well, what is a life if you’re always staying in your comfort zone? Follow the flow of life, but in your mind, create your own fairy tale.
Another example was when I started writing my dear blog. I blogged since 2008 but at that time I kept it private. Only my close friends can read it. 2 years later, I finally decided to make a new blog which I made public. My intention at that time was to share my every day routine, what I usually do, my passion, etc. After a while, I realize that my blog serves a medium that can give useful information to readers. So I started to share things which are not only about my routine. Something new, I must say.
When I write, I tend to challenge myself to be better. Take language as example. I love Bahasa Melayu. My love towards my own language took me to levels I never dreamed I could achieve. I love pantun, puisi and cerpen. Even though my team did not make it to the national level, I won pemantun terbaik for 3 years in a row. The interesting thing is that in those 3 years, I’ve been to 3 different schools! Yeah I was a bit vulnerable during those days ;P. After a while, I said to myself that I need to challenge myself in English, so sometimes, I write in English. It was fine (although with a lot of grammatical errors here and there) because people don’t really bother to correct it. So I kept my so called positive fairy tale mood. But eventually, reality sinks in and people started saying that they don’t like the way I write in different languages. They started saying things like ‘Bahasa jiwa bangsa, kalau dah orang Melayu tulis Melayu je la’, ‘Kenape kene speaking-speaking ni, takde jati diri langsung’. Well, to be frank, how are we supposed to be a better person when we are scared of trying?
kalau manis si buah kuini,
akanku ambil bagai dituba,
kalau bahagia terukir disini,
takkan berhenti terus mencuba.